Tag Archives: sleep

Father

10 Mar

When is a father born?

I have heard many times a saying that a mother is born when the child is born. I completely agree with it also. But when is a father born?

When do they start to bond with the child? Is the bonding only there when they are involved in the child’s activities? Or is it that it just finally dawns on then that they have a child now! How does it really work?

I am really perplexed as to how and when do they feel anything for this child that they have fathered. I have a husband who will not  do anything , and by that I mean as a regular routine. Her bath, sleep, feed, nothing. All he does is play with her for exactly 10 mins everyday. Is this because she is too small to demand or she is too small to play with. I play with her, I read her books, he just does not seem to do anything. Is this normal? I am very very disturbed frankly with what I see. Its like I am a single parent at times, except for the monetary aspect.

My daughter turned 10 months, he has not bought her a single toy till date. He feels she has no liking towards toys and she does not need any toy, rather she will play with the toys she has. I feel very sad. I do buy her things, but I feel why is it that he has never had an inclination to buy anything for her. It has been always me who even has to say about getting her new clothes or anything. It just never comes from him.

I am frustrated.

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Sleep Training

3 Dec

Mom & ChildSleep is something which I have seen with experience gains a great deal of importance once you have a child. The initial few months go by in a blur with getting up at odd hours and being awake at the most insane hours to feed your wee one. Then things start to get better and the lil one starts to sleep better, but then one asks when is that you start sleep training, or lets say putting a routine into place. And I think that routine is very important as this is what the baby associates with time to sleep. This time setting is also a part of sleep training. I have been reading a fair bit about sleep training, and this is because I think somewhere I did something wrong. And the wrong thing that I did was to breastfeed my kid through the night, as I thought she would be able to get the requisite sleep only this way. If I did not feed, she would fidget, cry and end up with both if us not sleeping. This might have been the easy way out for me, but I did think that I would be able to change it in the coming times. This is where I was more wrong. Once a pattern is set, undoing the damage is worse and more time consuming.

So, Routine..

The first step top trying to get a baby to bed is setting this routine. Routine is nothing but a set pattern which you follow with your baby prior to sleep time. A pattern which helps the baby understand that it is time to sleep. They do not read clocks, so we are just helping them read their body signs. A routine can consist of a bath, oil rub, diaper change, change to sleep wear, lullabies or songs which the baby already associates with sleep will only help all the more.

Night 1

The chances are that your baby will get up many times through the night, as there is a change in the way things are being done. I, for one, was trying to get my daughter to start sleeping in the crib, and also ensure that she has a timed feeding pattern. For me, co – sleeping was just not working out as it was getting very tiresome for me by morning in spite of having a full night’s sleep. I felt the sleep was not a true sleep if I did not sleep in the position I wanted and more over relaxed.

Night 2

On the whole the night was not very different from Night 1, but I felt that she was more prepared to be put into the crib once she is asleep. And quite a few times she did go back to sleep on just patting her while in the crib itself.

The feeds on both nights were just one around 2-3 AM and then again at 6-7 AM. I think this is a very adjustable thing for me, as during the day also, her feed times are usually 5-6 hours apart. And I also believe that she does not drink to her full when she is being breast fed.

Night 3

There was a marked improvement which I could see. Night feed was at 10 PM and she slept off at 10: 45 PM, but woke up around midnight, and quickly went off to sleep on just being patted. After this, she woke up at 3 AM for her feed, and then on sleeping next she woke up at 7 : 30 AM, again for her feed. So, overall, the process seems to be working. And the morning naps have also started to be an hour long, and not small short naps anymore.

I think she knows that she is being put in the crib, and not does not mind it anymore. That is a good change which has been brought about. I will write again about a more concrete update in another month’s time.

Image Source: http://ycpics.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Mother-and-baby-sleeping4.jpg

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