Patience is a virtue

1 Oct

Time flies in a day, and so does my patience along with it!

Everyone used to tell me how patient I am with anything that I am assigned to do, and how I do not get flustered when the results do not show as desired. I was very positive about how I would be able to be totally fine with a baby to take care and also of staying at home. But, then came the associated change in life in general. And that was something which I was not ready for. I am good at taking care of Tee, and I am able to understand her needs and ensure the least fuss, be it with eating or sleep or a bath. All that would be valid only till evening, and then that is when I feel that I would just like to rest, put my feet up and not just keep watching her. That is when I feel I need a break. At times I wonder whether I should feel bad about the fact that I am trying to take a break, but I am human after all!  I do know that I miss her when I am away from her for even an hour. Today morning I had to be out for an hour, and she was happy with her dad at home. She did not fuss, nor cry. She was playing and then slept off. But, when I came back and saw her fast asleep, I just felt that I was not there… and the moment she woke up I scooped her up and played with her. Its not guilt.. but I think its the attachment I feel towards her nowadays. I have become so accustomed to being with her the entire day.

I feel anyone stepping in for a few minutes even, so that I can just relax, have a conversation, step out for a while is all that I ask for. I do not really want to be away from her for an extended period of time. I think I am not ready for it, leave alone whether she is ready for it. I did not know that this is a possibility, as I thought I would want to be out and about, enjoy the shopping and all. But, now as I look at it, I enjoy these things when I take her along. I do not mind feeding her where ever possible, but leaving her behind is not something I enjoy doing. I want to show her the world around.

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